Dating tips and advices

by David Kamau

Online dating can be fun. But while establishing internet relationships, don't neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas.

Protect Your Computer

This is one which we tend to forget. Your personal safety comes first, but when dating online, there is a chance that someone could grab at you through the computer screen. How?

Spy-ware, Trojan horses and other malicious software could sneak into your computer without your knowledge. Before long, some stranger might know more about and your surfing habits than you would dare to think.

Not only that but, your computer could experience a system crash or start acting funny (and not in a humorous way).

Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online.

At the bare minimum, you need two forms of protective software:

1. A Firewall: Helps keep destructive or malicious wares from entering your system or network
 
2. Anti-Virus: Helps to stop and/or clean computer viruses

Protect Yourself

Next, you need to take care of yourself. Your personal safety is the most important aspect in establishing internet relationships. After all, you are dealing with strangers. So, how do you protect yourself?

Begin by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service.

You could start by asking around with friends and relatives neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried internet relationships for recommendations. But be aware that dating sites tend to be tailored to meet specific needs, and what may be right for your friend may not necessarily be so for you.

Alternatively, you could do your own research. Do a search for "online dating services" with your favorite search engine. And take notes.

Among the things to look for are addresses or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each site. This could be tedious and time-consuming work.

An easier way around is to read objective dating site reviews on the internet. These will give you, at least, a summary of what to expect.

Success in internet relationships should never be left to chance. Neither should your personal safety. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others. So take care. Arm your computer - and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!

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About the author: David Kamau is webmaster of: http://e-datecentral.com which reviews dating sites. Receive free online dating, relationships, and romance ebooks at http://www.e-datecentral.com/subscribe2.htm

Congratulations, she said yes to a date! Now what, panic? There are some simple things you can do to help smooth along a first date and maximise the chances of it being a great date so read our first date advice and see if it helps you.

First you need to decide where you date should be? We’ve put together ten great first date ideas to inspire you but the most important thing is to choose something that suits you and you think she’ll like. Make sure your chosen first date idea will give you chance to talk, but maybe provide some distraction too. A coffee or lunch are good as they can be as short or lingering as the situation dictates whereas dinner does tend to promote lingering, which may, or may not, be desirable!

Next, it’s a good idea to prepare yourself for the conversation you’ll have with your date. First dates should be about exchange of ideas and information, so don’t hog the conversation and give her a chance to talk, but also tell her something about yourself to make her feel comfortable and see that you’re being open and friendly. It shouldn’t be an interrogation and firing question after question at her will make her feel uncomfortable.

If there is an uncomfortable silence then having prepared a couple of topics beforehand will undoubtedly help the situation flow more smoothly;

"Think of a couple of serious topics you can ask your date questions about ... just make sure you have an opinion on them too!"

Think of a couple of serious topics you can ask her opinion on. E.G. something topical such as the environment or a book or piece of art that’s received some press attention recently. Dating tip: avoid politically intense or sensitive areas and heavy religious discussion on a first date unless you have specifically chosen a date on their political or religious viewpoint.

Dating tip: it’s obvious but… make sure you have an opinion on the topic too, otherwise you’ll look a bit stupid!

Dating tip; don’t choose a topic you have no interest in whatsoever as it’ll show!

Get up to date with latest showbiz and fashion gossip. Some women hate this, but quite a lot don’t, so sound her out with a question like ‘Do you watch xyz show’, ‘do you like abc star’ or ‘I love your handbag / shoes /dress’ and if they start to talk animatedly on the subject then comment on something you’ve read and then ask what she thinks. Just don’t mistake her Chanel for Walmart or she’ll never forgive you and unless you’ve proved your sartorial elegance mistaking her Walmart for Chanel won’t work either. Dating tip: Only do this if it’s something you’re prepared to take some interest in otherwise you might just regret having to read gossip papers for the rest of your life!

Have a few sports related questions in mind. She may be a baseball fan like you, in which case the conversation will flow easily on that topic but have a backup sport such as tennis or hockey so you can show you are not a one track mind otherwise she may be concerned that you’ll only be interested in one thing!

Think of a couple of amusing anecdotes about your life you can share with her. This is a great thing to do as it makes you appear open and honest which will make her more comfortable whilst demonstrating you can be an amusing conversationalist. Dating tip: Remember to choose something that will be generically appealing to a women – the fact that you planted a lawn on your best mates carpet whilst he was on holiday may be amusing but probably will not demonstrate your suitability as a good long term partner whereas talking about your amusing miscommunication with a waiter in Rome will make you appear self deprecating, well travelled and interesting and thus a good prospect for a second date!

Make a list of things not to talk about – ex girlfriends for example are a definite no-no, as is your obsession with late night drinking with your mates seven days a week.

confidence is possibly the single most attractive feature a man can possess ... but it's a fine line between confidence and arrogance!"

Get yourself into the right frame of mind before your date. No-one wants to date a grumpy man so make sure that you go to the date feeling positive and upbeat. Confidence is possibly the single most attractive feature a man can possess so make sure you’re feeling confident about yourself – tell yourself you are an attractive and interesting person, that the date is going to be a good experience and you are looking forward to it and it will be a success and you should go into it feeling great which will show! Dating tip: there is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance; One is super sexy one a complete turn off. Confidence comes across as easy charm and being comfortable in your own skin. Arrogance is being over confident, disinterested in your dates opinion, dismissive or condescending.

Get your grooming and hygiene sorted. There is no excuse for not being clean and presentable on a date. Making no effort will be perceived as disrespectful as she will assume you simply couldn’t be bothered. You don’t need to arrive looking like a catwalk model in all the latest fashion but you should be showered, shaved if appropriate, have cleaned your teeth and be wearing washed and ironed clothes. If you normally wear aftershave then do so but don’t bathe in it, subtlety is the better part of valour!

"Being late is a no-no ... the gentlemanly thing to do is arrive five minutes early so she doesn't have to wait alone..."

Watch your manners. There are very few ladies who don’t appreciate having a door held open for them, being shown to a table and allowed to sit first and being told she looks lovely. Just do it with sincerity and be natural, tripping her up in a race to reach the door first tends to mean the gesture loses impact! Being late is a no-no. As a gentleman it’s an often appreciated gesture if you can arrive first so she doesn’t have to arrive first and wait for you alone. Dating tip this means about 5 minutes early – any earlier looks too keen any later and it might not work as she could arrive first.

Say thank you at the end. Even if you don’t want to see her again it’s polite to say thank you so do. If you do want to see her again then tell her how much you’ve enjoyed the date and say you hope you’ll be able to do it again sometime. Ask her for her number – don’t make her offer as a lot of women won’t want to have to do this! Dating tip: Tell her when you’ll ring her and make sure you do so on that day but don’t be too keen – make it a couple of days away and ring her on that day and not before.

If you don’t want to see her then don’t escape through the toilet window! Still say thank you but explain that you don’t feel that the chemistry is right between you. Leave it at that, be nice and polite but don’t create false hope if you have no desire to see her again.

If she doesn’t want to see you again then accept it with good grace. Don’t interrogate her for the reasons why just say ‘that’s a shame’, if that’s the way you feel, say thank you for the date and wish her luck with her future dating.

Read our 'ten first date idea' article and see if it inspires you.

If you would like some help writing a unique and compelling online dating personal ad why not take a look at our personal ad builder and you could also use our photo enhancement service to make sure you get a dating personal ad that will win you the date of your dreams.

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By: Marjorie Janczak

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes However in today's world, love seems to have assumed a different meaning. The problem of separation among couples is becoming overwhelming great and that in effect is affecting societal morals. It is interesting to reflect back and realize that in the days of our parents, such problems hardly existed. They managed to handle their differences and kept their love aflame. But how did they really do that? Below are some love killers that anyone who is concerned about keeping his/her love true must avoid.

1.Never go into a relationship just thinking about the financial wealth of your partner
Having a partner who can provide you with financial freedom and luxury is good but be careful not to just love his/her riches and think you really love him/her because that would not be true and should there be some misunderstanding, this money love would result definitely in a separation. In as much as money is good in any situation, it can be a devil and so if care is not taken, one time sweethearts may end up as the worse enemies that ever lived.

2.Accepting your partner because of his/her educational achievements or status
If you can openly and confidently present your less educated partner to the public then that is not an issue. But if you can only love and feel free with the less educated partner only in the privacy of your home then you rather think twice before deciding to spend the rest of your life with him/her because this can spark troubles.

3.If you cannot tolerate your partner's faith (if different from yours)
It might seem in the beginning that love would solve this problem. But the reality is that if deep inside you refuse to accept the other partner's FAITH it is most likely that it might disturb you even when you have been together for a long time. Wars have risen because of religion from old times and they are still be fought because of religion, so both parties MUST make sure that they respect each other's FAITH if you decide not to change FAITHS.

4.Loving the color of your partner's skin
Think not of the origin of a partner, think of your compatibility. Love knows no limits and what is more the problem of racism could be solved if the number of mixed raced children increase. You hardly realize how baseless racism is until you have mixed blood children.

5.Being or having a partner who is not supportive of your dreams
A partner who does not take time to discuss with you your future together or who ignores what you want out of life is worth thinking twice about. Every human being needs encouragement and support no matter how independent you may be and there is no better person to give such support and encouragement than your beloved partner.

6.Having a partner who just cannot exhibit care, warmth, generosity and positive energy : A partner who simply cannot show care, warmth, generosity and positive energy just does not deserve to be loved and be with. If you happen to be the partner who keeps giving all the time then it is about time you took a decisive and definite decision to call it quits no matter how much love you have for this other person because it just would not happen. If your partner could not acquire such qualities all the years he has lived till you meeting him/her, NEVER think you can work any miracles to change the situation. Whatever will be will be!

7.Just because the other person submits to your every wish and command : In Napoleon Hill's classic 'Think and Grow Rich' he talks about two kinds of leadership – Leadership by Consent of, and with the sympathy of the followers and Leadership by Force, without the consent and sympathy of the followers. He further states that those who belong to the old school of leadership- by-force, must acquire an understanding of the new brand of leadership (cooperation) or be relegated to the rank and file of the followers since there will be no way out for them. One very important thing he added is that “Leadership-by-consent of the followers is the only brand which can endure. The fact is, this applies perfectly with couples as well. Being the 'Head of the house' or 'breadwinner' or any other excuse you can think of or imagine gives you no license to 'lord' or 'lady' it over your partner. Harmony is a vital ingredient of any relationship and the can only happen if there is respect, agreement and consent of both parties involved. So whatever side you are in such a relationship note that, the weaker partner will follow the forced leadership, but it will not be done willingly and for long.

8.Thinking a partner must be treated according to the number of years they have existed on earth
Age is just but a number. True love and respect for each other is all that matters in a relationship that longs to be meaningful and lasting. After all there are adults who behave like children and children who are more matured than their age.

9.Choosing a partner just to ensure you will have a heir to your 'throne.'
Children are gifts to a couple. But when a partner's main aim is to 'replenish the earth' then it becomes a danger and a threat to the relationship because should the unwanted happen, the 'blameless' one tend to start nursing some resentment for the 'troubled partner' and this is certainly not healthy for a lasting relationship. You need to love your partner just as he or she is!

10.Enter or be in any relationship other than to truly love and be truly loved! : Signs of lack of love for one's self is enough evidence of a partner's inability to give true love. If you can truly love yourself, then you are on the right path to giving and being loved by another. You need not say it. Love is the message and the message is LOVE!

There is more to loving than meets the eye but a thousand steps they say, begins with a step. Consciously and uncompromisingly working to maintain your relationship is the only way to have it last. Like any business, the business of love also needs to be worked on in every respect. The need to communicate the right way in order to send the right signals are very vital in this instance. In this way the couple can identify what is lacking in the relationship and they can subsequently make a collective effort to make the relationship work. Let not your love be just words, act it, it's more powerful!

Article Source: http://www.iwantcontent.com

More and more people these days are finding love online be it due to time constraints, unsociable working hours or simply the death of the community, but one thing is for sure, this is the fastest growing way to meet potential partners, however it has it's pitfalls. Whilst online dating agencies may offer a quick way to meeting these partners, Instant Messaging using programs such as ICQ, MSN, or Odigo offer a lightning speed way of getting very intimate, very quickly. It is so quick because you can be just who you want to be when you are chatting online, no one will see you blush if you say something wrong and most importantly, it allows you to take risks that you would never dream of taking in the real world. The most powerful aspect of this all though is that we paint our own picture in our minds of what the other person is without all those non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and mannerisms that subconsciously in the real world tell us valuable things about the person. In short, with our own beautifully created perception of the person, fall for them. So why do we as intelligent human beings end up falling for people we have never even met before? The answer is simple…we want to be in love, we so want to tell ourselves that the searching for our soul mate is over and with that we picture our lives in a blissful sea of coupledom, sharing our lives together. Sadly it is this haste to end our single lives that can lead to disappointment as quickly as it started.

Meeting Your online love for the first time

Sooner or later the question of actually meeting in person will come up and whilst many people would say it's better to take your time and let the online relationship develop, I strongly believe that the sooner you do it, the better. If you leave it too long, then the impression you have built up of this person will be so deep rooted that your expectations will be far too high and you will be set for disappointment. The other point is if you have been a lot more confident chatting than you would be in real life, how are you going to be able to keep up that persona? You may end up competing with yourself. So assuming that you are both happy with the length of time the romance has been going on for and you decide to meet, what will it be like? It will be quite strange to begin with. You may find that although you have been up most nights until 5 in the morning chatting, you find it hard to talk about things in the flesh. This is perfectly natural as the two of you are having to almost re-learn the parameters of the relationship and digest the visual cues that our mannerisms and facial expressions provide. It will be a nerve racking time as we have to decide there and then if these mannerisms and even physical odours are compatible with us. If you can pass that first test, then things get a lot easier. Do however be very careful if you are traveling abroad to meet someone because if things fail at this first hurdle, then you are totally stuck on your own in a foreign country.

Passed first base, what next?

Having gone through this initial nerve racking first meeting, there is often a huge temptation to revert back to an 'online relationship' as it feels so much more comfortable, but I cannot stress enough to resist that temptation. Slip back into the old online chatting routine and the online persona won't die. The transition from online to offline relationship can be extremely difficult but at all costs, you must get to know the real person from a new offline perspective and kill off any false impressions you may have had about them online. Going back to the online chatting routine may make you feel all warm and fuzzy again, but it can be an unrealistic perception of who the person really is.

In Summary

This all may seem a little negative and in some cases may not even apply, but overall, forewarned is forearmed. There are of course many people who have made a success of their relationship by Instant Messaging and some are even married now but it really pays to be aware of how feelings can be distorted by the shield of an anonymous nickname and a computer monitor.

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